Is that your baby?

People seem slightly obessed with the differences in color between me and our baby. He's much lighter than me and a mini version of his father. Which I don't mind because I happen to love his father very much. If things were otherwise, I can see why people get annoyed during divorces or separations, abandonment, etc.

It's generally Phillipino women who seem amazed by this difference. Or in a city where so many families have nannies, people think I'm out with my employer's child.

Hilariously, the East Asians don't think the baby looks Asian at all. I'm not sure if it's because he has large eyes, which are often the central feature of Asians and their ephicantic eyelids. But when we were with the Korean mafia - my nickname name for the close knit group of my husband's college friends - some of them commented that they didn't think he looked Asian.

This was hilarious becuase in nearly all instances, they had each married other Koreans. So their babies were completely unmistakable. And often in photos when they were much younger, I struggled to tell them apart.

Our nanny thinks the baby's face is very cute and she's very glad he's not "dark" like our next door neighboor. This kind of talk of course makes me shiver.

It's been another month since I wrote about breastfeeding. A few weeks after that last post about how much fun it was, I stopped. I got a liquidating stomach virus from my mother in law and realized I was passing it along to the baby. The diapers alone were enough reason to move forward my intention of stopping a few weeks earlier than planned.

While in the US, the readymade formula was easy to find at nearly every drug store or supermarket.

Having the first grandson on both sides with the extended family was a delight for everyone. He was adored, they somehow just turned into silly, babbling babylovers.

And we had willing babysitters for any of the movies, shopping, dinners, errands we wanted to go out on during our first trip back in a year.

I vowed to myself I would exercise 6 out of the 7 days while out on annual leave for over a month. And I nearly did. When I got into the habit of exercising early in the morning when the rest of the house was asleep, it felt great to be cleaned up and ready to go by the time everyone got up.

DC, GA, NV, FL. It was an amazing trip that no one really wanted to end.

I had conflicted feelings about bringing the baby back. While I wanted to be in my house with the nanny at my disposal, I didn't want the negative feelings about work to crowd back in and dominate my day.

The baby and I went on a road trip, our first, just us two. While I had been slightly dreading being left alone with him for a week, and nervous, though never admitting it to all the naysayers who thought the trip unsafe and foolish, I had a great time.

During the day we saw people from my childhoold and college days. At night we snuggled and slept in king size beds between NC and FL. The flight back was even fine - except for the dynamic poop that sent me walking the length of the US Airways cabin back to the bathroom room that had no changing table.

Changing tables, fear of ear infections, and his first serious illness were all a part of this trip.

Thank god my mother came with us to Vegas because the baby's first cold and the mucuous extractor were a little more than the two of us could handle on our own.

What surprised me was the utter love that was showered on him by his paternal uncle.

"He's my blood," he said.

And I renewed my resovle to adopt a child.

This week I'm readying The Unwanted, the story of a family living in Communist Vietnam. And my heart keeps breaking for the "half-breed" children who are half-American and half-Vietnamese during a very dangerous period of history.

It's hard to escape the fact that our baby is blessed in life because of his fortunate birth. Of course, living in a wealthy society, there are many children who are much better off than he is. But then there are also so many children in the world who are so much worse.

It's hard to know which is better and which to celebrate.

I'm giving away his clothes now, clothes that he has already outgrown because he is just shooting up. Now he laughs, he wants to eat our food, and he pulls my hair. He also rolls, cries when he's bored, and is ready for solids.

The solids thing is so interesting because now he has a spoon and a bowl and has to sit up in order to receive food.